"Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’"
The number of “get me out of here” tactics women have developed and shared to help each other escape from overly-insistent-to-borderline-predatory dudes in public places should probably be enough evidence of the existence of rape culture all on its own.
I especially like how, in the majority of cases, you don’t have to verbally communicate what your signals are to other women. I’ve had women I didn’t even know come save me. Literally every woman recognizes the “Dear god, help me” facial expression, and knows exactly what they should do. We don’t get a handbook for this. We don’t have a sit-down nail polish party where we talk about a standardized woman code for preventing creepers. It’s just part of being a woman.
BUT LOL RAPE CULTURE DOESN’T EXIST.
Yup. I’ve definitely taken strangers by the arm and pulled her aside to go, “Oh my GOD it’s you! How ARE YOU?!? It’s been so long!” and then been like “hey I could overhear that guy who wouldn’t leave you alone so I figured I’d give you an out” and then see their VISIBLY RELIEVED expressions. This is part of girl code, because rape culture is that pervasive.
I once had a girl sit on my lap and say “hey baby” after she witnessed a guy (who was easily 20+ years older than me) hitting on me and harassing me for my number even after I told him I was taken. After he got up and left she asked if I was okay. I couldn’t thank her enough times, I even bought her a drink.
We have done this. In fact, we are this. Because we are asexual and we don’t like alcohol so we never drink, we have gone with friends to parties/places where our sole job was to keep an eye out for everyone and be the permanent ‘aggressive man-sheild.’ Not one of our female friends has ever questioned this or found it all strange. In fact, often once they realized we were willing to do it, it would be pre-arranged. Every guy friend we ever did this in front of or tried to explain to looked flabbergasted. They had no idea that this was a) an intentional thing, b) a planned ahead thing, or c) universal.
Rape culture is the fact that every woman understands this. Male privilege is the fact that no guy on earth seems to know or understand.
I’ve been asked to pretend to be my friend’s girlfriend every time we go out at night, just because she wears clothes that show off her curves and guys won’t leave her alone. They only back off when I put my arm around her and act as if we’re together romantically, and sometimes not even then.
i once ran interference for a friend, only to receive the unwanted advances myself. he wouldn’t back off until my (male) friend literally wrapped me up in his arms and acted as if he was my S.O.
It happens online too. A guy I know started Facebook-stalking me after a recent interaction, and my roommate immediately got on Facebook and told him she was my girlfriend. He thankfully backed off after that.
I can’t count the number of times I have pretended to be somebody’s girlfriend or sister in a bar when a guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Both with friends and strangers.
After reading these, I feel like taking a shower. Because I’m the designated driver pretty much every time, not being a big fan of alcohol, but I rarely, if ever, intervene. And yeah, I’m small and pretty physically weak, but I could put my foot down verbally if it came down to it. I’m just too scared.
You’re probably scared of confronting the guys. And you should be. That’s what this whole post is about. Rape culture is so prevalent and socially accepted as the rule of the land that if someone confronts a guy and tells him directly to back off, someone is getting hurt. That’s why all of the testimonies here are examples of how to deflect. How women all learn methods of pulling a woman away from a situation with a guy who isn’t allowing her to say no, by making up some lie that will get the guy to let her go without sending him into a rage and deciding to teach you both a lesson about knowing your place and submitting to rape culture. Men are dangerous in these situations because all of society backs them up as just a nice guy who deserves a chance, and vilifies any woman who refuses to give him a chance. Women are not allowed to say no. So other women have to rescue the women saying no and pull them away with some made up excuse. Otherwise the situation will escalate and the ones who get hurt are always the women.
Women absolutely have to learn rescue tactics for each other, but it’s kind of funny how we describe really obvious facial expressions and body language as “secret signals.” The reality is that women telegraph disinterest in these aggressive men, making it super obvious, but men choose to ignore it. Total strangers who are just sitting nearby or happen to glance their way will be able to see that the woman isn’t interested, but the guy making the advances is somehow oblivious? Unlikely.
And perceived physical power of the woman doesn’t matter either, I have had to do this for other rollergirls. Even after bouts where they are bruised, sweaty, and partying with a bunch of other built women in the same jersey.
"If a woman writes about herself, she’s a narcissist. If a man does the same, he’s describing the human condition."
If you’re a guy who likes looking at pictures of naked girls but loses respect for a girl if she posts a naked picture of herself, you can get lost
How many times can I reblog this
"But confusingly, misogynists are sometimes men who speak softly and eat vegan and say “a woman’s sexual freedom is an essential component to her liberation. So come here.” It’s a tricky world out there. And while I’d prefer a critical approach to gender from men I elect, read and even bed, in my experience, the so-called feminist men I’ve met deep down have not been less antagonistic or bigoted toward women. What I see over and over again is misogyny in sheep’s clothing, and at this point, I would rather see wolves as wolves."
"People are perfectly happy to see women as sex objects, but the actual biologic of our bodies is apparently gross and unmentionable."
- Our Bodies, Ourselves.
Girl, an ongoing series
by Lora Mathis
↳ F → feminism & representation
"I certainly came up in an era where women were really making strides and making a point to beat down doors and find their place, and crash through the glass ceiling. And a lot of them did that believing that they had to trade on their femininity and that they had to be a man and tap into whatever they believed was a masculine trait to hang in the boys’ room, to get the "keys to the kingdom" as it were. And what’s beautiful about Jessica Pearson is that she is the next level to that when, really, feminism is about being all that you are and not having to trade one thing for another on your way up, or apologize." - Gina Torres (about her character Jessica Pearson, on Suits)
GUYS my friend from high school who attends college in Mexico has been missing since March 27th. He was seen being pulled into a blue truck by 3 men. This is legitimately the most kind hearted person that I have ever met and I NEED people to help me spread the word about this. There isn’t much information about it but if you could reblog this and like the page on facebook hopefully it will be useful. THIS LITERALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. Thank you SO muchAlso if tweeting about it use the hashtag #BuscamosABrandon!
"In the meantime, young women are still left to negotiate sexual encounters based on a model in which the central aim is still first and foremost to satisfy male sexual desires. The new politics of choice have thus had the cumulative effect of making young women’s continued experiences of sexual pressure, coercion and violence increasingly difficult both to name at an individual level and to subject to concerted political action at a societal level.
In this post-feminist context it has become difficult to be openly critical of sexual mores (even those regarding consent and sexual violence) without being labelled anti-choice, anti-sex and seen as rejecting the very sexual freedoms that feminism fought to achieve. This in turn demonstrates how fields of interaction can indeed be re-moulded (as feminist adaptations of Bourdieu have suggested). However, in this particular case it is a re-packaging of old gender norms within a rhetoric of choice that both resists any substantive challenge to the underlying gender structure and obscures the persistent operation of male power and dominance within sexual encounters that continues to exist"
so i went on the american apparel site today
looking at the socks
here’s one of the pictures for men’s socks
seriously i’m not one to complain about sexism…
this is bullshit
A report from the National Transgender Discrimination Survey conducted by the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality, found that transgender people faced double the rate of unemployment of the general population, with 63 percent of the transgender people surveyed reporting they experienced a serious act of discrimination that majorly affected their ability to sustain themselves. These numbers are even worse for trans people of color, especially trans women of color, the deaths of whom have been deemed a “state of emergency.”
Trans women have been saddled with the responsibility of taking on trans-exclusionary feminists for far too long—but it’s not their issue to deal with alone.
Read: It’s Time to End the Long History of Feminism Failing Transgender Women by Tina Vasquez at BitchMedia.org. Type illustrations by Michelle Leigh.
False rape accusations are an anomaly.
True rape accusations are a norm.
You’re, quite literally, more likely to be killed by a comet than falsely accused of rape.
A man is more likely to BE RAPED than to be falsely accused of rape.
Offensive things aren’t offensive merely because they hurt feelings - they’re offensive because they contribute to the societal harm of marginalized groups. The end goal isn’t to get everyone to love each other, it’s to destroy power imbalances.
The media loves a catfight.
Now that the highly anticipated film adaptation of Divergent — a Hunger Games-esque dystopian tale — is officially in theaters, comparisons between its star Shailene Woodley and Jennifer Lawrence are rolling in. According to Joanna Robinson of Vanity Fair’s “The Next Jennifer Lawrence?,” “If Woodley’s other adaptation of a popular Y.A. book, The Fault in Our Stars, doesn’t do well then J. Law can breath a sigh of relief that her supremacy is safe. For now.”
Apparently being an “It Girl” is just like being the Lord of the Rings: There can only be one.
Again and again, the media pits successful women against each other, making one’s rise contingent on another’s fall. And this is bullshit. Even when recently goaded to dish about her supposed rival, Woodley wouldn’t bite
A quote from the Toronto Star:
“I found so offensive and incredibly horrendous that the editor allowed something to be published that should have never been written, which … says ‘is Shailene Woodley the next Jennifer Lawrence? Is Divergent going to be the next Hunger Games? Or is Divergent not going to do well, is she going to be the next Lily Collins?’” said Woodley, adding she planned to write to the author and tell her: “That is so f—-ed up.”
“I’m going to write her an email and say that is not OK. How can we as females and citizens of this Earth expect men to start respecting us when … we can’t find sisterhood and can’t find support for one another?
“Putting another woman down and raising another woman up,” Woodley says, “it is disgusting on every level.”