Actually, I am. I am fat. Use a euphemism if you want: chubby, rotund, big boned, curvy, thick—they all mean the same thing to me: fat.
Yet, when I refer to myself as fat in front of friends, their immediate response is “You’re not faaaat.” Let me be clear: I’m not fishing for compliments or reassurance of thinness; I’m not limiting myself in any way by my usage of fat (e. g. “Fat girls don’t do xyz.”). When I call myself fat, it’s out of identification. I identify with my fat. If you read my piece on fat as rebellion, then you know just how I identify with my fat. When I call myself fat, it’s like I’m calling myself a bad bitch: I’m reclaiming the word.
Fat does not equal: bad, unsexy, ugly, mean, stupid, awful, unhealthy, sloppy, dirty, lazy. Fat equals what you want it to equal: rebellion, beauty, health, fashionable, fabulous. So stop telling me I’m not fat. I know it’s what you’ve been taught: a girl says she’s fat so your next words better be “No you aren’t!” If fat meant to you what it means to me then you wouldn’t be telling me I’m not fat. It wouldn’t matter to you that I call myself fat because I’m not insulting myself.
I’m on this kick: redefine fat. Belief is perception; how I perceive fat is how I perceive myself. I’m gonna live in this fat. I’m gonna love in this fat. I’m gonna be a bad bitch in this fat. And no one can change my mind about that but me.
by Angela Page
Tagged as: body acceptance. fat acceptance. angela page. feminism.
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- voodoomama said: I call myself fat now and it’s kind of great! - I also get the ‘you’re not faaat!’ but to me that doesn’t make sense, I sure as hell ain’t skinny soooo that leaves fat, to me.
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